2013

Alrighty, 2012 sucked, no argument. 2013 tried it's damnedest to be awful too, but I think we still came out with some good mixed in with the bad. Let's see in 2013:

I took an awesome, once-in-a-lifetime trip to Vietnam, where I swam in a waterfall, saw time stand still in rice paddies, and climbed a mountain made of marble.

I also went to Singapore and shopped my heart out, saw my old stomping grounds, and went on safari.

We went to Disneyland and a had a mediocre time.

I got boob pus.

I then got a mastectomy.

I almost got done with getting the house put together.

Liam began kindergarten and started to thrive, much to my relief.

Not too bad. 2014 should be good. We're going to London in 6 weeks. Both kids will start school full-time and I'm going to have to find something to occupy my time.

I'm now drain-free and all I have to do is heal. I'm hoping to start back up in ballet in March, May at the latest, pending the go ahead from my doctor.

And for an update on 101 (87) in 1001:

Health/Fitness

Get to 145 lbs, within healthy BMI
Get to 130 lbs
Get to 120 lbs
Be able to do a double pirouette on both sides
Be able to do the splits on both sides
Do a Pilates class without cheating
Be able to run a mile without stopping
Get back on pointe
Participate in a dance recital

Travel/Day Trips

London, UK
Vancouver, BC
Disneyland
Leavenworth, WA
Deception Point, WA
Spend Christmas time somewhere other than home
Portland, OR
Eugene, OR
Ashland, OR
One other international trip, destination tbd
Drive down the 101 from Astoria (yay Goonies!) to either Florence or Newport

Financial

Pay off credit card
Pay off student loan
Pay off car
Buy minivan
Save 6 months living expenses
Write a living will and living trust
Double contributions to kids's 529 plans
Go a month without spending money on anything other than living expenses
Go a month without eating out
Donate money to a local food pantry
Donate money to the school for a sponsorship of some sort
Switch our accounts in Utah to a local credit union

Home/Garden

Paint hallway
Paint bedroom
Frame and hang the kids's blessing and dol hanboks
Make 72-hr kits
Build 1 year supply
Finish decorating the kids's rooms
Use every type of produce from the garden
Design and commission a piece of art
Create the perfect bed (down comforter, feather bed, high quality sheets, find a bed frame I like-been looking for two years and counting)

Food/cooking

Take a chocolate making class
Take a knife skills class
Learn to make profiteroles and build a croquembouche
Bake a proper loaf of bread (still having problems with bread)
Host a garden party
Host Christmas brunch
With Justin's help, cook an entire meal campfire style with dutch oven
Make pasta from scratch
Learn how to shuck oysters
Learn to make macarons
Try a geoduck
Organize the family recipes into a cookbook
Learn to make hollandaise sauce

Beauty/Fashion

Visit a Korean spa and get a scrub
Get a haircut and deep conditioning at a salon
Be brave enough to wear an all red outfit
Get dressed up in a kick-ass outfit, hair and make-up, and go out on the town

Sewing/Crafting

Sew a Merida dress for Alana
Fold 1000 paper cranes
Knit a sweater
Design, drape and sew a dress
Tailor a coat
Sew a corset

Adventures

See the Nutcracker with the kids
Take the kids to a U-pick farm
Kayak Lake Washington
Go digging for clams
Go crabbing
Take the kids to a star party
Take the kids to a kangaroo zoo
Ride the ducks
Go camping in a yurt (okay, you can stop laughing now)

Cultural/Academic

Take the COMPASS test
Read at least 75 books off the BBC The Big Read list (currently at 51, the Very Hungry Caterpillar but no Agatha Christie... seriously, guys?)
Write a song for the kids
Read all of Kurt Vonnegut's novels (I've read 5/14)
Relearn the Korean alphabet (third times the charm! Maybe this time it'll stick)
Read all of Beverly Cleary's books

Random

Beat Twilight Princess 100%
Host another blog giveaway with something I've made
Do 23andMe (now may not be possible)
Go one day without a computer
Do Secret Santa for kids about Liam and Alana's age
Family portraits
Get passport for Justin and the kids (Justin is done)

I got stabbed!

Stolen from Firefly "Shindig." My favourite episode and not just for the costumes.

So Wednesday morning, I got up from two and half hours of sleep. I showered with the special soap that the doctor give you that I heard stinks. It's not too bad, it just smells medicinal. I then packed up my stuff and headed off to the bus station. Justin would have driven me, but that would have entailed waking the kids up two hours earlier and then having them stay awake until school. Keeping the kids's schedule as normal as possible was the goal.

I got on the appropriate bus and made it down to the hospital in Seattle. I checked in; turned over my wallet, keys, and phone; and waited. A awesome nurse, RJ came out and directed me to the back. He labeled all my stuff and handed me a stack of clothes to get changed. I put on the world's ugliest socks, pajama bottoms, the lovely hospital gown and a robe. I hung out for a bit after having to turf out the husband of the patient next door that had taken over my lounger, General terror makes me a little grumpy.

Afterwards I was brought up to yet another waiting room and tucked in to a lounger with blanket that had been in a warming drawer. I thought it was funny that they had already started treating me as an invalid. A nurse who snorted when she laughed sat down and asked some medical questions and then started my iv. The anesthesiologist then sat down and talked about what she would be using. I had heard that if you're feeling nervous, a fentanyl lollipop can help take the edge off. She explained that fentanyl lollipops aren't used much anymore even fro kids. The doctor swung by, and then OR nurse came over. He explained that we'd be walking down the OR which would be full of people, extremely bright lights and can could be quite stressful.

While we walked down, a woman passed in the hall, holder her toddler that had obviously been through surgery. I guessed tonsils/adenoids and ear tubes. John assured me that kids going through surgery handle it well and I shouldn't worry. I remarked that at least they get ice cream afterwards. John assured me that he'd order ice cream for me after the surgery.

The OR was exactly like John explained. I laid down on the table and the anesthesiologist injected the desired fentanyl into my iv and I was out.

My drug dream was I was trying to catch butterflies into a baseball hat.

I woke up and my immediate reaction was good, they woke me up and I can tell them I changed my mind. I looked down and wondered why my chest was feeling so constricted. I had been wrapped tightly with an ace bandage and had inflatable wraps round my calves (for dvt), and general sickness.  I was quite worried about the kids and kept asking about them.  I also remember a boy next to me was waking up with ear tubes with his mother over him making a huge to do over him. The nurses kept poking me to keep me awake when all I wanted to do was sleep.

Later on I found out that I wasn't coming out of the anesthesia so well. I was more nauseous that most and I couldn't keep anything down, which meant that I couldn't keep the pain medication down, which meant that I got more nauseated, which lead to not fun cycle of vomiting and pain. They finally injected me with a ton of zofran and pain meds and let me go to sleep. The next time I woke up, the nurse from hell made me get up and walk around.

The biggest annoyance of that night was every time I managed to get to sleep, someone would wake me up. But they started to remove my accessories and with each one, I felt lighter and more like myself. My surgeon mercifully also placed my drains in the front rather than the sides so I don't have the annoyance of not being able to put my arms down.

It's a few days later and I feel okay. I'm no longer nauseated (though I did throw up as I was leaving the hospital and the poor orderly practically threw me at Justin and ran) and the as long as I take ibuprofen every couple of hours, I'm not in any pain.

I never did get my ice cream. 

What 25 lbs and prednisone looks like

A lot of people who have seen me recently have commented how I've lost a lot of weight. I know that the number on the scale has gone down quite a bit, but being in my body means that sometimes I'm not aware of inches lost, etc. I was documenting my weight loss with some pictures and I sent them to a friend today:

Taken beginning of April. At this point I'd managed to lose the 5 lbs that prednisone that caused, but was still on 30 mgs a day. The prednisone caused my kangaroo belly, buffalo hump and some swelling in my face. My left boob looks funny because it's packed with gauze.

Taken last week. 25 lbs lost on top of the 5 lbs previous, 15 of which have been since September. I'd weaned down to 10 mgs by August, 5 mgs soon after, and then 2.5 for a couple of weeks. I have been weaned completely off for a month (prednisone usually stays in the blood for about 3 months afterwards, so I probably am still having some effects from it. I don't know what's up with my facial expression; maybe I was sneezing.

When I first saw my breast surgeon at the end of August, he recommended that I try to get back to my ideal weight range because it makes recovery so much easier. I'm proud to announce that I'm one lb over. The other good news is clothes that I haven't worn for three years all of sudden fit again and my wardrobe doubled.

The rapid weight loss was caused by four things. One was getting off the damn @$%^ prednisone. Two was starting metformin and finally finding the right dosage. Three was watching what I eat (which was mostly just less, see prednisone). Four was my favourite (sarcasm) diet plan: depression. I stop eating whenever I get depressed. One week about a month ago, I got massively depressed and didn't eat for four days and lost 5 lbs, only 2 of which came back. I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it is effective.

I will probably make my New Year's resolution for my weight this year, but the last 5 lbs are going to be breast tissue. Does that count? Probably not, but I'll take it anyway. When I consulted with the plastic surgeon about my weight and my plans to lose more weight, he actually recommended not to lose too much more because then I might not have much to move later. Not the usual doctor's recommendation, and like most others, I might ignore it.

How am I doing? I'm falling to pieces. I'm anxious, scatterbrained, and easily distracted. I ran a stop sign the other day and accidentally got into the express lane at the grocery store with a cartful of groceries. I was extremely embarrassed and apologized profusely to the cashier and people behind me and then ran to my car in my shame. My sister suggested that I should be allowed to wear a sign declaring my upcoming mastectomy and should be excused for all my lamebrain moves. I also fell down my stairs a week ago and sprained my wrist and it STILL hurts. I think this week, month, and year just need to end.

On a more positive note, thank you to all the people for the lovely emails and facebook comments.