We are having...

A GIRL.

At least the doctor is fairly sure. She didn't want to hold still for any of the measurements the dr needed and wouldn't unclench her legs to let us get a peek. The doctor managed to get a quick look as she was rolling over. He saw an absence of anything sticking out and the tell tale three lines that it's a girl. They're going to check at the next appointment to make sure, but he sounded fairly confident.

Now that I've found out that it's a girl, not much has changed. I just needed to know. I realized a couple of days ago that I would be sad and happy either way. I was watching last week's House episode and when the two little boys were holding hands at the end, I thought it would be nice if Liam had a little brother. But I also wanted a girl sometime, so I guess that it's happening now.

I also have some promises to make to this future daughter. I promise to try to protect you from Liam's poking and prodding. I promise to try to keep ridiculous hair bows and frilly dresses to a minimum. I promise to not subject you to Bratz or Madame Alexander dolls. I promise no pink (not too much anyway)! I promise that you're coming to parents and brother who love you and are going to give you lots of cuddles and kisses!

I'm a horrible mother

The past couple of days have left me feeling less than competent in parent department. Yesterday, Liam was in the cart, leaned to grab a potato (?!), and FELL out. He started crying, but was fine when I picked him up. Then outside, I was letting him walk along the sidewalk and was trying to keep him out of traffic. He tripped and fell right on his nose on the concrete. Screaming ensued. Later, I was feeding him spaghetti for dinner when he started to cough. We cleared out his mouth, but he started rubbing his nose like crazy. Then he sneezed and a noodle came out.

This morning, he was running around with a basket and fell on top of it, breaking the handle and scrapping up his chin. Then as I was dressing him, Justin needed to leave for work, causing Liam to have a meltdown, sit in the middle of the floor, crying pitifully for Justin to pick him up. As Justin was walking down the stairs, Liam was trying to climb over the gate and wails were echoing in the upstairs hall. Justin was feeling guilty and I was feeling inadequate.

It's now officially a week until the ultrasound and I'm taking bets. This week I think that it's a girl (I've change four times now). Here are the facts:

Liam

morning sickness the entire time up until the morning he was born
acne EVERYWHERE
bi polar mood swings
had no migraines the entire pregnancy

HOWEVER, I thought Liam was girl based on the amount of nausea and a weird dream that my grandmother had.

This pregnancy

morning sickness stopped about sixteen weeks
only a few zits on my face in the first trimester (keep in mind it was summer)
weepy
intermittent headaches

BUT, I think this is a girl because this pregnancy has been really different. And I'm a REALLY bad guesser. Like I'm only right about 25% of the time.

Step right up and make your guess!

I'm grumpy Part II

So last night I didn't get any sleep because Justin woke me up when he came to bed at who knows how late. While I was NOT sleeping, I finished Atonement by Ian McEwan. It's a good book, and probably better than the movie, which I have not seen yet. Bit wordy though. The funny thing is that I had just finished reading I Capture the Castle by Dodi Smith, and it was really interesting to compare the two in my head. Both are about precocious teenage girls in the 1930s who are dealing with their growing awareness of romance and human sexuality. Sure one commits perjury and the other watches her family sell their souls for money, but it's all good.

Another contribution to my mood is that I'm 20 weeks today. That in its self isn't the problem; it's that it's another two weeks until my ultrasound. Most of the time, I can be patient and enjoy looking forward to big events, but this time around, I want to know the health and gender of the baby right NOW. I get on the babycenter.com groups and find out that women due in May already had their level II ultrasounds and are buying pink or blue socks, and I still don't know. Grrr.

I did find this Twilight spoof this morning that helped lighten my mood.

One of those moments

I try to read a book to Liam before we put him to bed. The golden books seem like endless possibilities, and I particularly love the Frances books by Russell and Lillian Hoban. But tonight I found a book on my parent's shelf called The New Baby by Cyndy Szekeres. Since Liam is going still be fairly little when the baby is born, there isn't too much we can do to prepare him. I decided to read this book to him tonight anyway. I highly suggest that you DON'T read this book. There was a sad part where the kid is sitting at the table waiting for breakfast despite the fact there are four other older people in the house. I told Liam not to worry, we'd always make sure he was fed.

And then I had one of those, "Oh, crap, what have I gotten myself into" moments.

I don't think that it's entirely that they'll be super close together; I just am starting to freak out that I'm going to have two kids to take care in about four more months. Help!

Motherbored

So I need to find a new hobby. Meaning, I want to fill my time with something while I ignore all the housework that needs to get done.

This past week has been fun (read: sarcasm) because Liam had a temperature that ranged from 101-105 since last Friday. Yesterday it became very apparent he was feeling better when he would pound on the study door, run in when I opened it and look around for Daddy, who was a work. He looked sad but worked through his disappointment by pulling books off the shelves.

Liam has been growing by leaps and bounds, literally. Yesterday he learned to climb up on the dining room chair, and I stopped him before he got up onto the table. When I took him to the doctor's on Monday and Wednesday, his weight had shot up to 20 lbs 13 oz, meaning he gained a pound in a month. Which explains why my back hurts like crazy lately.

He also is suddenly sleeping through the night. And taking his naps. Without a fight. He'll now take an hour nap in the morning and a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon. And go to bed at nine and sleep until eight in the morning. I'm still in shock. The past 14 months, we've been fighting almost constantly to get him to go to sleep and stay asleep in his own bed. Now I'm sure I've jinxed it.

No new developments really. Something needs to happen before I lose my mind.

If I can't find a maternity evening gown I might have to wear this:

Justin's work always does a black tie affair for a Christmas every year. The problem I'm running into is the dresses I can find are 1) sleeveless, 2) ugly, 3) expensive, or 4) all of the above. So I keep thinking that I'll just sew one. The few patterns that I can find for maternity dresses however, still fall into one or more of the above categories. Maybe I should start designing for pregnant women. Anyway, my thoughts now are to try to find a pattern with a high enough waist that I could stuff enough fabric into the skirt, or to buy a maternity dress and try to alter it.

I went to the Body Worlds exhibit over the weekend. I'm a morbid enough person that the show was not at all disturbing to me and I could find it interesting. Until I got to the part about the fetuses (or feti if you're TAMN). They had plastinated an 18 week old fetus. Guess which week I'm in. I really feel like I should say something about the miracle of how a baby grows or something sappy like that, but really, all I could think about was there was a woman in the world who had been this pregnant and miscarried. It was a sobering and scary thought.