2013

Alrighty, 2012 sucked, no argument. 2013 tried it's damnedest to be awful too, but I think we still came out with some good mixed in with the bad. Let's see in 2013:

I took an awesome, once-in-a-lifetime trip to Vietnam, where I swam in a waterfall, saw time stand still in rice paddies, and climbed a mountain made of marble.

I also went to Singapore and shopped my heart out, saw my old stomping grounds, and went on safari.

We went to Disneyland and a had a mediocre time.

I got boob pus.

I then got a mastectomy.

I almost got done with getting the house put together.

Liam began kindergarten and started to thrive, much to my relief.

Not too bad. 2014 should be good. We're going to London in 6 weeks. Both kids will start school full-time and I'm going to have to find something to occupy my time.

I'm now drain-free and all I have to do is heal. I'm hoping to start back up in ballet in March, May at the latest, pending the go ahead from my doctor.

And for an update on 101 (87) in 1001:

Health/Fitness

Get to 145 lbs, within healthy BMI
Get to 130 lbs
Get to 120 lbs
Be able to do a double pirouette on both sides
Be able to do the splits on both sides
Do a Pilates class without cheating
Be able to run a mile without stopping
Get back on pointe
Participate in a dance recital

Travel/Day Trips

London, UK
Vancouver, BC
Disneyland
Leavenworth, WA
Deception Point, WA
Spend Christmas time somewhere other than home
Portland, OR
Eugene, OR
Ashland, OR
One other international trip, destination tbd
Drive down the 101 from Astoria (yay Goonies!) to either Florence or Newport

Financial

Pay off credit card
Pay off student loan
Pay off car
Buy minivan
Save 6 months living expenses
Write a living will and living trust
Double contributions to kids's 529 plans
Go a month without spending money on anything other than living expenses
Go a month without eating out
Donate money to a local food pantry
Donate money to the school for a sponsorship of some sort
Switch our accounts in Utah to a local credit union

Home/Garden

Paint hallway
Paint bedroom
Frame and hang the kids's blessing and dol hanboks
Make 72-hr kits
Build 1 year supply
Finish decorating the kids's rooms
Use every type of produce from the garden
Design and commission a piece of art
Create the perfect bed (down comforter, feather bed, high quality sheets, find a bed frame I like-been looking for two years and counting)

Food/cooking

Take a chocolate making class
Take a knife skills class
Learn to make profiteroles and build a croquembouche
Bake a proper loaf of bread (still having problems with bread)
Host a garden party
Host Christmas brunch
With Justin's help, cook an entire meal campfire style with dutch oven
Make pasta from scratch
Learn how to shuck oysters
Learn to make macarons
Try a geoduck
Organize the family recipes into a cookbook
Learn to make hollandaise sauce

Beauty/Fashion

Visit a Korean spa and get a scrub
Get a haircut and deep conditioning at a salon
Be brave enough to wear an all red outfit
Get dressed up in a kick-ass outfit, hair and make-up, and go out on the town

Sewing/Crafting

Sew a Merida dress for Alana
Fold 1000 paper cranes
Knit a sweater
Design, drape and sew a dress
Tailor a coat
Sew a corset

Adventures

See the Nutcracker with the kids
Take the kids to a U-pick farm
Kayak Lake Washington
Go digging for clams
Go crabbing
Take the kids to a star party
Take the kids to a kangaroo zoo
Ride the ducks
Go camping in a yurt (okay, you can stop laughing now)

Cultural/Academic

Take the COMPASS test
Read at least 75 books off the BBC The Big Read list (currently at 51, the Very Hungry Caterpillar but no Agatha Christie... seriously, guys?)
Write a song for the kids
Read all of Kurt Vonnegut's novels (I've read 5/14)
Relearn the Korean alphabet (third times the charm! Maybe this time it'll stick)
Read all of Beverly Cleary's books

Random

Beat Twilight Princess 100%
Host another blog giveaway with something I've made
Do 23andMe (now may not be possible)
Go one day without a computer
Do Secret Santa for kids about Liam and Alana's age
Family portraits
Get passport for Justin and the kids (Justin is done)

I got stabbed!

Stolen from Firefly "Shindig." My favourite episode and not just for the costumes.

So Wednesday morning, I got up from two and half hours of sleep. I showered with the special soap that the doctor give you that I heard stinks. It's not too bad, it just smells medicinal. I then packed up my stuff and headed off to the bus station. Justin would have driven me, but that would have entailed waking the kids up two hours earlier and then having them stay awake until school. Keeping the kids's schedule as normal as possible was the goal.

I got on the appropriate bus and made it down to the hospital in Seattle. I checked in; turned over my wallet, keys, and phone; and waited. A awesome nurse, RJ came out and directed me to the back. He labeled all my stuff and handed me a stack of clothes to get changed. I put on the world's ugliest socks, pajama bottoms, the lovely hospital gown and a robe. I hung out for a bit after having to turf out the husband of the patient next door that had taken over my lounger, General terror makes me a little grumpy.

Afterwards I was brought up to yet another waiting room and tucked in to a lounger with blanket that had been in a warming drawer. I thought it was funny that they had already started treating me as an invalid. A nurse who snorted when she laughed sat down and asked some medical questions and then started my iv. The anesthesiologist then sat down and talked about what she would be using. I had heard that if you're feeling nervous, a fentanyl lollipop can help take the edge off. She explained that fentanyl lollipops aren't used much anymore even fro kids. The doctor swung by, and then OR nurse came over. He explained that we'd be walking down the OR which would be full of people, extremely bright lights and can could be quite stressful.

While we walked down, a woman passed in the hall, holder her toddler that had obviously been through surgery. I guessed tonsils/adenoids and ear tubes. John assured me that kids going through surgery handle it well and I shouldn't worry. I remarked that at least they get ice cream afterwards. John assured me that he'd order ice cream for me after the surgery.

The OR was exactly like John explained. I laid down on the table and the anesthesiologist injected the desired fentanyl into my iv and I was out.

My drug dream was I was trying to catch butterflies into a baseball hat.

I woke up and my immediate reaction was good, they woke me up and I can tell them I changed my mind. I looked down and wondered why my chest was feeling so constricted. I had been wrapped tightly with an ace bandage and had inflatable wraps round my calves (for dvt), and general sickness.  I was quite worried about the kids and kept asking about them.  I also remember a boy next to me was waking up with ear tubes with his mother over him making a huge to do over him. The nurses kept poking me to keep me awake when all I wanted to do was sleep.

Later on I found out that I wasn't coming out of the anesthesia so well. I was more nauseous that most and I couldn't keep anything down, which meant that I couldn't keep the pain medication down, which meant that I got more nauseated, which lead to not fun cycle of vomiting and pain. They finally injected me with a ton of zofran and pain meds and let me go to sleep. The next time I woke up, the nurse from hell made me get up and walk around.

The biggest annoyance of that night was every time I managed to get to sleep, someone would wake me up. But they started to remove my accessories and with each one, I felt lighter and more like myself. My surgeon mercifully also placed my drains in the front rather than the sides so I don't have the annoyance of not being able to put my arms down.

It's a few days later and I feel okay. I'm no longer nauseated (though I did throw up as I was leaving the hospital and the poor orderly practically threw me at Justin and ran) and the as long as I take ibuprofen every couple of hours, I'm not in any pain.

I never did get my ice cream. 

What 25 lbs and prednisone looks like

A lot of people who have seen me recently have commented how I've lost a lot of weight. I know that the number on the scale has gone down quite a bit, but being in my body means that sometimes I'm not aware of inches lost, etc. I was documenting my weight loss with some pictures and I sent them to a friend today:

Taken beginning of April. At this point I'd managed to lose the 5 lbs that prednisone that caused, but was still on 30 mgs a day. The prednisone caused my kangaroo belly, buffalo hump and some swelling in my face. My left boob looks funny because it's packed with gauze.

Taken last week. 25 lbs lost on top of the 5 lbs previous, 15 of which have been since September. I'd weaned down to 10 mgs by August, 5 mgs soon after, and then 2.5 for a couple of weeks. I have been weaned completely off for a month (prednisone usually stays in the blood for about 3 months afterwards, so I probably am still having some effects from it. I don't know what's up with my facial expression; maybe I was sneezing.

When I first saw my breast surgeon at the end of August, he recommended that I try to get back to my ideal weight range because it makes recovery so much easier. I'm proud to announce that I'm one lb over. The other good news is clothes that I haven't worn for three years all of sudden fit again and my wardrobe doubled.

The rapid weight loss was caused by four things. One was getting off the damn @$%^ prednisone. Two was starting metformin and finally finding the right dosage. Three was watching what I eat (which was mostly just less, see prednisone). Four was my favourite (sarcasm) diet plan: depression. I stop eating whenever I get depressed. One week about a month ago, I got massively depressed and didn't eat for four days and lost 5 lbs, only 2 of which came back. I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it is effective.

I will probably make my New Year's resolution for my weight this year, but the last 5 lbs are going to be breast tissue. Does that count? Probably not, but I'll take it anyway. When I consulted with the plastic surgeon about my weight and my plans to lose more weight, he actually recommended not to lose too much more because then I might not have much to move later. Not the usual doctor's recommendation, and like most others, I might ignore it.

How am I doing? I'm falling to pieces. I'm anxious, scatterbrained, and easily distracted. I ran a stop sign the other day and accidentally got into the express lane at the grocery store with a cartful of groceries. I was extremely embarrassed and apologized profusely to the cashier and people behind me and then ran to my car in my shame. My sister suggested that I should be allowed to wear a sign declaring my upcoming mastectomy and should be excused for all my lamebrain moves. I also fell down my stairs a week ago and sprained my wrist and it STILL hurts. I think this week, month, and year just need to end.

On a more positive note, thank you to all the people for the lovely emails and facebook comments.

All Not-So-Quiet on the Western Front

So the big announcement is that after 15 months of pain, pus, and paranoia, I've decided to get a mastectomy. The insurance approved it today and my surgery is set for Dec 18th (Merry #%^ing Christmas). Here are some answers to faqs that I've received:

Q: Are you doing immediate reconstruction?
A: No, my surgeon has recommended that I wait at least six months, preferably a year to make sure that the disease doesn't come back.

Q: What are the chances that it comes back?
A: Pretty low, about 0.3%. There's always a chance because the surgeon can't remove all the breast tissue. However, the current thought is that since my body is attacking my breast, getting rid of it will calm my immune system back down.

Q: Are you getting implants later?
A: No, I'm getting a reconstruction known as a DIEP flap. Basically, a plastic surgeon takes skin and fat from the lower abdomen along with the blood vessels that feed it, cut it off from the deep interior epigastric artery (the DIE part of DIEP) and form it into breasts and reattach them to the internal thoracic artery. The abdomen is then sewn up like a tummy tuck (yay flat stomach!) There is usually a second surgery to make sure the breasts are even, desired size, and to smooth out any bumps the scars might have caused, ie lipo. The last step is to do a small incision to reconstruct the nipples and tattoo the areolas back on. I'm going to forgo the nipple reconstruction and get a 3D nipple tattoo. Yeah, never thought I'd get a tattoo and also, don't get me started on idiotic "not even once club."

Q: Tummy tuck and new boobs, how exciting!
A: No, really a question, but yeah. I wish the process didn't have to be so horrifying to get there. Also, scarring is pretty terrible (good think I'm not into bikinis.) The reason I choose a DIEP flap, despite a chance of failure and the additional traumatizing surgery, is that if the surgery is a success, I'm done. Implants have short lifespans (usually max of 15 years), high failure rate (maybe as high as 30%), are uncomfortable, and feel extremely fake.

Q: Have you tried .....(blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)?
A: If it's out there, I've pretty much tried it at this point. Steroids, autoimmune drugs, antibiotics, anti-inflammatory diets, no meat diets, high protein diets, no soy, doing nothing, etc. Nothing seems to make a dent and some of them were pretty painful.

Q: Are you freaked out?
A: Extremely. I am looking forward to not having hard lumps in my breast, extreme pain, boob pus, achy joints, and the constant fatigue. Fortunately, our insurance will pay for 6 free therapy sessions for any stress related event a year, which I took advantage of. However my life is one huge stress related event and I'm now seeing the therapist weekly long term. But I feel better about the surgery. Sort of. Ask me later.

So in the mean time, I have a wedding to look forward to (yay!) but it's in Utah (BOO!). Pray for my soul. Or at least that I don't wind up on the six o'clock news.

101 in 1000

I usually avoid blogging trends and overly twee, cutesy ideas. But I came across this 101 in 1000 days idea. You can get all the info at this website. It sounded like a good self-improvement project to occupy my time. So here's my list of 87 in 1001 because I've been working on this for over month and I'm running out of ideas. I'll come up with 14 more eventually. I reserve to the right to change it due to evolving needs/desires in the future (Crossed out have been completed):

Start date: 09/01/2013
End date: 05/29/2016

Health/Fitness

Get to 145 lbs, within healthy BMI
Get to 130 lbs
Get to 120 lbs
Be able to do a double pirouette on both sides
Be able to do the splits on both sides
Do a Pilates class without cheating
Be able to run a mile without stopping
Get back on pointe
Participate in a dance recital

Travel/Day Trips

London, UK
Vancouver, BC
Disneyland
Leavenworth, WA
Deception Point, WA
Spend Christmas time somewhere other than home
Portland, OR
Eugene, OR
Ashland, OR
One other international trip, destination tbd
Drive down the 101 from Astoria (yay Goonies!) to either Florence or Newport

Financial

Pay off credit card
Pay off student loan
Pay off car
Buy minivan
Save 6 months living expenses
Write a living will and living trust
Double contributions to kids's 529 plans
Go a month without spending money on anything other than living expenses
Go a month without eating out
Donate money to a local food pantry
Donate money to the school for a sponsorship of some sort
Switch our accounts in Utah to a local credit union

Home/Garden

Paint hallway
Paint bedroom
Frame and hang the kids's blessing and dol hanboks
Make 72-hr kits
Build 1 year supply
Finish decorating the kids's rooms
Use every type of produce from the garden
Design and commission a piece of art
Create the perfect bed (down comforter, feather bed, high quality sheets, find a bed frame I like-been looking for two years and counting)

Food/cooking

Take a chocolate making class
Take a knife skills class
Learn to make profiteroles and build a croquembouche
Bake a proper loaf of bread (still having problems with bread)
Host a garden party
Host Christmas brunch
With Justin's help, cook an entire meal campfire style with dutch oven
Make pasta from scratch
Learn how to shuck oysters
Learn to make macarons
Try a geoduck
Organize the family recipes into a cookbook
Learn to make hollandaise sauce

Beauty/Fashion

Visit a Korean spa and get a scrub
Get a haircut and deep conditioning at a salon
Be brave enough to wear an all red outfit
Get dressed up in a kick-ass outfit, hair and make-up, and go out on the town

Sewing/Crafting

Sew a Merida dress for Alana
Fold 1000 paper cranes
Knit a sweater
Design, drape and sew a dress
Tailor a coat
Sew a corset

Adventures

See the Nutcracker with the kids
Take the kids to a U-pick farm
Kayak Lake Washington
Go digging for clams
Go crabbing
Take the kids to a star party
Take the kids to a kangaroo zoo
Ride the ducks
Go camping in a yurt (okay, you can stop laughing now)

Cultural/Academic

Take the COMPASS test
Read at least 75 books off the BBC The Big Read list (currently at 51, the Very Hungry Caterpillar but no Agatha Christie... seriously, guys?)
Write a song for the kids
Read all of Kurt Vonnegut's novels (I've read 5/14)
Relearn the Korean alphabet (third times the charm! Maybe this time it'll stick)
Read all of Beverly Cleary's books

Random

Beat Twilight Princess 100%
Host another blog giveaway with something I've made
Do 23andMe
Go one day without a computer
Do Secret Santa for kids about Liam and Alana's age
Family portraits
Get passport for Justin and the kids

Fishes in the Sea and Ants in My Pants

I've had a lot of crap to deal with lately so I'll just post about these two items:

My sister came into town, us three siblings took our kids to the Seattle Aquarium. There's not too much to post about except that both of my kids were obsessed with the jelly fish which they recognized from Ponyo. There's a computer to help identify the fish in a giant tank in the atrium which attracted Liam's interest. And there was a diver vacuuming dead coral out of the tank and Alana completely fell in love:

Diver Jim was very sweet and kept waving to Alana.

We have an ant problem. They live in the walls and come out through the outlets and any gaps in the dry wall. They finally found the pantry but thankfully, due to the humidity in Seattle, I had most of the food in plastic bags or containers, so I ended up only having to throw away some peanut butter crackers and a container of honey. Justin cut some wood strips that we nailed over the gap between the dry wall and back of the pantry door, an area that the builders chose not to finish. Grrrrr.

And because I'm a complete glutton for punishment, I decided to paint the pantry so for three days our kitchen looked like this:

But my kitchen is now back to normal and I've seen nary an ant (in the kitchen). 

In other news, the rhuematologist and I decided to stop the methotrexate as it didn't seem to be working and all my hair was falling out. My hairline is now back about a quarter of an inch and there's inch long hairs all over my scalp from the hair starting to grow back. Fortunately all hair loss is supposed to be temporary.

Vern Yip, are you out there?

I have a very blank wall in my foyer:

We live in the typical Pacific Northwest split level, so this wall is a floor and a half tall. I've narrowed it down to the following:

Source

Giant clock: Bit cliche, but there isn't a clock anywhere in the living area so I don't always know what time it is. I am worried that giant clock in the foyer also gives the feeling of counting down to your ultimate demise, but maybe that's a plus too. Alternate idea: smaller clocks with time zones that mean something to Justin and I. Unfortunately, the only times that are important to us are here and Korea. 

Source

Giant print: This idea is probably the best way to add some colour to the foyer (shoe cabinet and mirror are black) but the chandelier hangs right down in the line of sight if you're in the living room, so it'd be more difficult. Also, the only print I'm interested in is not in colour and also a bit oppressive. It might end up in the living room to scare people there.

Source

Tapestry: Unique but expensive. Also, we don't live in a 11th century castle. 

Source

Giant painted fan: Harder to find one I like, but unique. Hard to hang though.

Art wall: This isn't really my style, but it might be a good use for all the random prints that I collect. The problem is only half the wall is flat flooring and the other half is over stairs so it's difficult to hang one thing, let alone dozens.

Any comments? Suggestions? Offers to come paint a mural with Justin, the kids, and I as the four horsemen of the apocalypse? 

Picture dump

Alternate title: Why can't my children sleep normally?

I took the kids to the beach last week (yay for living less than 10 minutes drive and that INCLUDES wrestling the kids into the car) and took some pictures. My kids aren't very used to me taking pictures, so their facial expressions usually end up more like "WHAT?" or a fake smile that makes them look, um, constipated.

I also notice for the first time since Liam hit his head 18 months ago he'd developed one lone white hair on the back of his head. I'm *obviously* very observant. Sorry kid, you got your first white hair at four.

Liam drew and cut out some items that he was very proud of and wanted me to photograph:

What do they look like? They're sunglasses not bras, you perv.

For the record, my kids each have a double bed complete with mattress and box springs, 2 pillows, a feather duvet and a microfleece blanket. Alana prefers her baby blankets and the floor and Liam has attached himself to a blanket his GRANDFATHER got from a girlfriend in high school. He also wraps himself up so he looks like a turtle:

Also? Pillows are overrated. Angry Birds are better.

My goal this week

Is to try to be a functioning adult. I had a bad week. I felt extremely nauseated most of the time and spent too much time in the sun so I got a little sun sick.

On the plus side, I made lots of dim sum and we had some friends, Patrick and Lindsay over. They're awesome. Patrick hates Utah more than I do and Lindsay doesn't mind that I'm crazy.

I hate English

Me: I did dishes today. That was my contribution to the household.

Justin: And you did some laundry.

Me: Sort of. It's in the washer waiting to be.....

Justin: Hung.

Me: Wow. You knew I was struggling to remember if it was hanged or hung.

Justin: It's hanged if it's a person.

Me: But why past tense.

Justin: "To be hung." Past perfect. Hanging if it's future progressive.

Me: Good. I can feel like I progressed something to day.

Justin: .....

Me: Shut up.

I'm still here

I realized today I haven't left the house since Wednesday. I just sent Justin to the grocery store because the thought of going was freaking me out too much. It's not been a good week. On Thursday, I was so bored that I kept falling asleep every time I sat down. Sigh. Anyway, here's some blurry pictures of Alana at her ballet class to tide you over until I'm not quite so depressed:

Small things

I feel like I've been whiny lately. So I've decided to focus on a few good things:

The lawn seems be doing well. The grass has filled in and is a nice rich green. Our hard work paid off!

Liam's speech has vastly improved. He's now approaching "normal" ranges for his comprehension and expression. This is a huge leap from when he started speech therapy two and a half years ago and he was in the 0 percentile for language.

Liam also took part in a study recently for autism and childhood reading. The results showed that he's above average for reading comprehension and recognition. Yay, our kid is a genius (no, not really, but he's very bright.)

Alana has also started talking up a storm. Unlike Liam, she has no problem letting us know what's on her mind. Loudly. And ALL THE TIME. But it's cute. And good that she's starting to talk.

I wore a pair of jeans yesterday I'd bought after Alana was born four years ago. They fit and were even a little big. I'm not sure if I've lost any weight because I refuse to use our scale which is notoriously unreliable. But it was a big ego boost.

Despite prednisone being the most evil drug known to mankind, I haven't had a single asthma attack since October. Which isn't a surprise since it's routinely prescribed for people with asthma.

I think the metformin is having at least some small effect based on the Beau's lines on my nails (this is what happens when you give a hypochondriac an internet connection).

Our city's farmer's market started. It's only three blocks from our house, so we walked over. The kids fed some alpacas and a llama carrots, listened to a marching bagpipe band, then we breakfasted on some baked goodies, and then I bought some produce that I later made into bulgogi. I've never had really fresh garlic but it's awesome.

The black one is a llama. The rest are alpacas.

I couldn't get a good picture of the kids feeding the llama carrots.

Why, hello there.

The area we live in is pretty settled unlike the previous city which still has massive amounts of farmland. So imagine my surprise when I was sitting at a stop light and was greeted by this (look in the lower corner of the window on the right):

I should mention that this city is also full of hippies. With goats in the back of their vans apparently.

I can't feel my legs

Kiribati armour Source

To help put this in context, I took my first pilates class yesterday. This is the conversation Justin and I had when I woke up this morning:

Me: "There's a tribe in Micronesia that used coconut fibers to make their armour which was so stiff they needed squires to help them move around."

Justin: "Uhhhh, yeah?"

Me: "I think I need you to be my squire today."

Currently can't feel my legs or back and anything that requires the flexing of my abdomen is dang near impossible. Can I lose weight by flexing my pinky toes because that's the only body part I can move.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Alternate title: How I melted into a whiny little @$%$# Part 2397786

I woke up this morning with a deep and complete loathing for mankind. What? That's not normal? I don't know what it was but the past week I've been little grumpy. I have some theories:

Stupid people. Goes without saying.

The RS President who (not) so helpfully pointed out a rash of acne on my face that'd I'd been self-conscious about all week. Yes this goes under stupid people, but this was a special level of stupid I thought it deserved it's own mention.

Having to fill out a ton of paperwork for end of school stuff, next year school stuff, and stuff to get Alana into more therapy. Which I'm going to have to add to my weekly schedule. Yay.

No sleep. For some reason I've only been sleeping about four hours a night, usually broken up in several chunks.

I had a little manic episode. I unpacked a ton of boxes, painted the foyer, and when through two closets and donated half the stuff in them. And then sunk into the inevitable depression that followed afterwards. I've spent the past couple days barely getting out of bed and if I managed that, sitting on the couch watching Orphan Black. Which was awesome, probably the best show this year.

I found a picture taken when Alana was about a year old. I was about 50 lbs lighter. I don't feel so great about myself right now.

I found a gray hair. Which was as long as the rest of my hair. Which means that I've been going gray for a while. So I know that's not a big deal, but my hair is the only thing I'm vain about and I'm very sad.

But it might not matter because all my hair is falling out from the methotraxate. This is what I pulled out just running my hand through my hair after a bath:

I have no idea why I can't get this rotated right.

I'm start to wean off the prednisone for the sixth or seventh time. And like all the other times, my granulomas is growing again and hurting. Which is causing me to freak a little bit. But I've made a decision. I am done with the prednisone. I was only supposed to be on it for 9 weeks and it's now over eight months. I'm tired of the insomnia, the struggle with weight, the acne, and the complete crazies that come with it. I've developed a "moon face" and buffalo hump, which might not go away even after I get off the medication. But at this point, I'd rather take the pain and puss (four months if anyone's keeping track, ugh) than stay on these damn pills any longer.

So after that long boring whine, I think I'll just sit on the couch with a Belgian chocolate cup and some Gilmore Girls and feel sorry for myself.

Next Margaret Cho?

I found some truly terrible Korean jokes today:

Where to old Korean men go to find love? eHalmoni.com

Will Smith was in a Korean restaurant and ordered a bowl of rice. The waiter asks if that's all he wants. Smith says, "No I'm getting jiggae with it."

Justin nearly had an aneurysm at the terribleness of that last one. I'm still giggling.

IM with Justin

Copied and pasted from today:

(11:05:30 AM) Miranda: I think Liam maybe cutting out a marijuana leaf.

(11:06:32 AM) Justin: I didn't teach him that.

(11:09:59 AM) Justin: I blame the liberal education he's been getting. 

Parents of the year, right here.

What kind of Asian are you?

I don't think I've laughed so hard for a long time. For the record, I'm not usually offended where people ask where I'm from, but the other questions/comments from this guy are waaaaaay too familiar.

2 Years

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of moving to Seattle. Two years ago, Justin and I arrived with our kids and two other long suffering people, Mike and Risa. While it hasn't been the easiest two years (Seattle winters are brutal), I will say this: moving out of Utah is the best anti-depressant ever.

This Spring I declared war on our backyard. I'd largely ignore a lot of it, letting the weeds take over the beds, allowing trees to grow unfettered, and dandelions to go unchecked on the lawn. But this year, I was tired of tripping over a bumpy lawn and unseen roots and looking at the patchiest, thinnest, most pathetic grass ever. I forcefully conscripted Justin into my cause, and so far we've aerated, thatched, raked, top dressed, and now finally over-seeded the lawn. The aerating, thatching, and seeding we hired a company to do, but the raking and top dressing took us weeks. But now it's been over-seeded and the real challenge begins: keeping the kids off of it for at least four weeks. Here's hoping for a nice thick lawn!

Murgatroyd appears to maybe making some headway. After the initial lump started to drain, for four MONTHS, the granuloma has gotten very small. So either it's going away on it's own, or the methotraxate is working enough to keep it in check. However, the second granuloma is still going strong and staying about the same size. Ugh.

Sorry about the lack of posts. I've been feeling less than perky and creative lately. But we're alive and still going strong. And fighting the good fight (against weeds.)

3D glasses are racist

Last night we went to Star Trek Into Darkness. Justin's company rents out a theater sometimes the night before big releases. This time however, Paramount decided to move the date up a day, so we were instead seeing it on opening night. So, I guess to make up for the lack of sneak preview, they decided to have the showing in 3D.

I will admit that it had been about 10 years since I'd seen anything in 3D and the glasses were still those red and blue paper specs. But every time I'd seen anything in 3D, I'd have a headache afterwards and not be able to see out of my left eye. I'm extremely right eye dominate (my contact prescription is almost twice as strong for my left eye) and so any time my eyes are under any strain, I feel my right eye start to over-compensate.

But eye strain aside, those @$%$#%@!# glasses are racist. I, like most Asians, do not have a bridge to my nose. I can lay a finger across the top of my nose and touch both of my eyeballs. Finding sunglasses is a pain. In order to be able to focus on the screen, I practically have to shove the lens into my corneas and hold the damn glasses there the entire time. I left the theater with a headache, sore eyeballs, and 3D glasses with two retinal prints on them.

But the good news, the movie was pretty good and I'm still in totally in love with Benedict Cumberbatch... along with the rest of the world, including Justin.

I think she'd be good with some rice

Alana had some bad dandruff. Per her pediatrician, I rub olive oil into her scalp and then shampoo it out. I do however feel like I'm prepping her for a marinade before every bath time.

I'm not alone!

I belong to a facebook group for Korean American Adoptees. I'm not very active, but they've been getting some weird discussion threads going that have made me feel validated:

Lack of arm hair and stubby eyelashes
No birthday/assigned birthdays/having 2 birthday (I'm not the only one!!!!)
Non-necessity of deodorant
Discussing your adoption with your own biological children
Being the only Asian in very white communities
Lack of connecting with other Koreans
Perceptions that all Asians are meek/mild and going to put up with your shit

It's been very therapeutic to know I'm not the only one with these problems.

Swimming

Mike's coworkers had a plan to go to a waterfall north of Danang. Risa had to run to an atm, so Mike and I grabbed breakfast on the corner outside their house. A lady would set up with a huge pot of soup and sell pho to morning customers. Apparently pho is traditionally a breakfast food. It was really good, which was surprising because I really didn't like pho here in the US. I think that the Asian equivalent of cilantro/Chinese parsley is less strong so I didn't get that soapy taste.

We then met up with Mike and Risa's friends and started off on what ended up being a two hour ride through the mountains. There were six of us on five bikes and I commented that felt like I was in the world's least threatening motorcycle gang. 

We stopped at the summit where there were a few ruins. The scariest bit was the bullet holes in the buildings. Vietnam war fighting took place here and the US troops even made it a little bit further north before they pulled out.

The roads were very windy.

Bullet holes. Yikes.

We continued on our way. I didn't put enough sunscreen on and got burned. I made it until the last day of vacation before I got a sunburn, argh! After much confusion, we found the turn off and hiked up the hill until we saw this:

It's a waterfall in the sense that the water is running downhill, but the locals have dammed it up in various spots to form these deep swimming pools. The water is so clear, it only looks like it's a few feet deep, but most of the pools are actually deep enough to submerge in. The main one we swam in was probably well over 10 ft deep. They'd also built platforms next to the river and would lay down carpets for a few dong.

After swimming and relaxing, we packed up and headed back off on the scooters. We started to stop at a restaurant in Lang Co, but realized stopping meant trying to go over through the pass in the dark. They had some awesome birds just hanging out though and I got some pictures before we left.

On the way back, we saw this cloud that seemed to be pouring over the mountain. It was beautiful. Mike and I joked that it looked like the Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke after its head was cut off. We later drove through the cloud which was for lack of a better word, delicious. It was cooling and felt like being dipped in a sparkling drink.

We all headed to a cafe called the Bread of Life. It's a restaurant run by Westerners who employ deaf Vietnamese for the baking and cooking to give them job skills. The menu is very American, but it was pretty good for Asia.

We all looked very tired after the drive.

I ordered a burger. The bun was the best part, light and crispy.

We headed back to the house and then grabbed a taxi (for my poor spine which at this point was considering filing for divorce after the abuse I'd put it through for the past two days) to the local shopping center, "Big C". Like most shopping centers in Asia, it was crazy crowded. Risa grabbed an aloe vera leaf which was huge and ended up being 10 cents. I bought some marble pendants and we headed back to the house to rub aloe vera on our sunburns.

Hoi An Part II

We boarded one of the boats in the river. I'm not sure how far down the river it was, but my guess was maybe about three miles or four miles.

There were these circle of reeds in all the rivers and some of the rice paddies. I couldn't figure out exactly what they were. Maybe some sort of fishing net?

We exited off the boat and saw the red bridge the resort was named after. A waiter came out with more mango smoothies and our guide led us around the herb garden.

These were peanuts.

She pulled one of them out of the ground so we could see the peanuts.

Afterwards, we bid goodbye to our guide and were directed to the back of the resort where the cooking class took place. Our teacher was this funnily sarcastic chef who sounded exactly like a Vietnamese Howard Cosell. He showed us how to make a salad in a pineapple, rice paper, spring rolls, bánh xèo, and an eggplant stew in a clay pot.

Salad

The rice paper is made by pouring the batter on a muslin stretched over boiling water. You then take a bamboo stick and flip it off.

The rice paper was made into spring rolls

Bánh xèo, the egg pancake that I had the first night in Danang

He showed us how to make some garnishes too.

Pretty, right?

Annnnnnnd here's mine.

Eggplant in a clay pot.

Afterwards we sat at a table in the restaurant cooled off by the river, enjoying our cooking attempts and mango smoothies. It was very peaceful and I was very glad that we took the class. I actually learned to like Vietnamese food! We were herded back to the boat and Hoi An when it started to get dark. Hoi An is famous for lanterns apparently and so the city had started to light up by the time we got back. I wasn't there at the full moon, but apparently the regular lights are turned off and there are twice as many lanterns and they float candle lanterns on there river as well.

The bridge from before lit up.

Here's a Junebug that flew out of nowhere and hit Risa on the head.

There were these musicians just hanging out on the street playing for fun. I don't even think they were busking because I didn't see anywhere to give them money.

Mike and Risa were very patient while I shopped like crazy to find gifts and souvenirs, even dragging them back to the same shop three times. We then divided up my goodies on the two bikes due to my lack of foresight that we were going to have to get all this back on scooters and headed back to Danang. Hoi An was probably my favourite day of all in Vietnam.