It's not lupus

If you are squeamish or don't particularly want to hear about my breast, I'd skip this post.

About 2 weeks ago, I had a random pain in my left breast. I chalked it up to either wearing my bra to long, or stabbing myself with my underwire. After about a week of the pain not going away and instead getting worse, I started to poke around. That's when I felt the worse thing: a lump. I called a doctor the next day (Friday) in a panic, but the first time that I could get an appointment was on Tuesday the next week. So I got to panic about it all weekend.

However, Tuesday (today) was Alana's first day of school and I had to be at my appointment at about the time she needed to get on the bus. Justin graciously worked from home make sure the kids got on and off the buses at their scheduled time, and I took off this morning for my doctors appointment. Unfortunately, I had to drive through the majority of Seattle during rush hour, find my exit, TURN AROUND because of stupid one way streets and pick out a random building. I actually ended up pulling into a pay parking lot, intending to walk just because I didn't know where the hell I was. I notice that I was still five blocks from where I was supposed to be, so I pulled back out into the road. Unfortunately, I got caught on a hill at the red light and the person behind me pulled right up onto my bumper. I drive a manual, so I floored the accelerator when the light turned green to be sure not to back into them when I felt my flip flop catch on the petal and my shoe broke in half. So now I was lost, late, and down a shoe. I finally got to the building, successfully didn't ram the idiot in front of me who couldn't figure out how to take the ticket out of the dispenser and parked in a very narrow spot where the driver on my left side was right on the line. I actually had to back out and park again just so I could get my door open. I rushed over to the medical tower, hopped into the elevator and staggered out on 15th floor, I'm sure looking a little panicked and less than put together. I stood there for a minute trying to figure out what to do, when the receptionist tersely told me to find a seat because she was busy. Fortunately the other receptionist (who turned out not to be a colossal bitch) hung up the phone and helped me check in.

I finally got all my stuff together enough to check in and get into the doctor's office. The doctor came in and asked me a bunch of questions about my general health, medications, etc. But she got really hung up on the fact that I've only had three periods in the past year and she started talking about endometrial cancer and ovarian cancer and all these scary things. So she ordered a bunch of blood tests and told me to go to the Breast Center for an ultrasound of the lump. I got my blood drawn and was wandering aimlessly around the corridor trying to find my way back to the waiting room, or for someone to give me the referral of the Breast Center. I finally found my way out to the waiting room and stood in front of a window, trying very hard not to cry. I noticed a 10 story apartment building a few streets that had a beautiful roof top garden. I wondered who planted it and lived there, and wished very hard I was over there instead of a waiting room that smelled funny waiting for someone to tell me what to do.

The doctor finally came out and told me that they hadn't been able to get a hold of the center, and handed me a paper with the phone number to call and try to get an appointment myself. I notice that there was another center that was closer to my house, so she said that she would fax over the order to that center and to try to get a hold of the one of my choice. I wandered back down to the parking garage, and drove out. Unfortunately, I was so turned around and lost and didn't know where the freeway entrance was, I drove around the block until I found where north way. I then took the Dirk Gently method of trying to find the freeway, picked a car that looked like it knew where it was going and followed it. Lo, and behold, it worked! I found the freeway, drove to Target to replace the shoe that had broken and sat in the parking garage and called the breast center SIX TIMES to get an appointment. Each time it ended up going to an answering machine. I finally drove home and broke down and cried.

The lump in my breast is mostly likely a cyst as it's painful and changes in size during the day (it's much bigger in the evening and seems to shrink at night). I've also been having hormone problems, many of which could cause no period and cysts in breast. I finally got an appointment, but the earliest they can see me is Friday afternoon, so I get to live with this hanging over my head the rest of the week. This whole ordeal was amplified by people being idiots about a crib I'm trying to donate (seriously?).

Yesterday I:

Had a home visit from both of the kids's preschool teachers
Took Alana to speech therapy and then the grocery store
Took Liam to speech therapy in the afternoon.

Today I:
Didn't crash in downtown Seattle
Went to my doctor's appointment
Went to Target, Joanns, Hobby Lobby and back to Joanns, then DI
Made soy emergency candles (that a story for another day)

Yesterday and today

Yesterday I:

Went to a IEP meeting at the school.
Went home to fill out paperwork, make a doctor's appoint, and call the pediatrician to get Alana's vaccination record
Packed both kids up to take Alana to speech therapy
Threw both kids into the car, sped to the pediatrician, ran the kids inside to pick up paperwork
Threw both kids back into the car, sped to the school to drop off said paperwork (it had to be in that day)
Threw both kids back into the car, sped to the grocery store, picked up some croissants for second breakfast (does it count as second breakfast if I didn't have first breakfast and it was in fact lunch time?)
Threw both kids back into the car, threw croissants at the kids, sped home, and got Liam ready for school in record time to get him on the bus. Whew.

Today I:

Went to not just one, but two ballet classes
Ran home to shower and then spent 45 minutes scrubbing permanent marker off the kitchen table, courtesy of Liam
Got my hair cut (pictures forth coming)
Went to Costco and the grocery store

Whew. Two busy days. I'm off to reward myself with some Doctor Who.

Don't mess with ballerinas

I'm trying to get back into ballet. I took a break because Alana got me sick and then Justin went out of town and I didn't have one to watch the kids while I was in class. But I'm going to go tomorrow! Plus I have to teach at the Y next week. This video cracks me up:



Ballerinas totally win. Mostly because I like ballet over hip hop, but also because it takes about years to become proficient in ballet, vs street dance with can be weeks.

Yesterday I took Liam to the doctor. Yup, that was about it.

In which I'm a hypocrite

So I don't like mommy blogs who talk about their experiences potty training because 1) GROSS and 2) no one cares. But turns about fair play, here's the fun I had today:

So while I was in my bedroom this morning, Alana had an accident on the carpet outside my door. Unfortunately, she was wearing this tutu that I'd made last year. ARGH. So while I was cleaning that up, she promptly had another accident. So I put her on the potty (keep in mind that she hadn't pooped for days) and made her stay there for an hour. She kept running out of the bathroom and I'd tell her to get back on the potty. After an hour of not doing anything, I put her in a pull-up and set her in her room for a nap. Two minutes later she was screaming her head off because she'd, yup, pooped in her pants. I cleaned her up and was about ready to set her back on the potty when I noticed that nearly an entire roll of toilet paper was stuffed in there. Every time she'd run out of the bedroom earlier apparently she'd wiped, but not flushed. So I had to unclog the toilet while trying to keep a naked 3 year-old-calm in a very small enclosed space. Yay. And all of this was before 1 o'clock. Yay. So there is my gross, gratuitous story that serves to reinforce some people's (smart) decision not to have kids. Just kidding. Sort of. Yay.

Today I:
Unclogged a toilet (!!!)
Did two loads of laundry
Pruned the trees and bushes in my front yard while simultaneously trying to keep Alana out of the street and the neighbour's driveway. She finally settled down to picking and eating blackberries off the bushes.

09/18

Today I:
Got Liam off to the first day of school. Alana didn't go (there's a story behind that, later)
Helped my brother with puzzle design
Cleaned my kitchen and one bathroom
Did three loads laundry
Avoided the gym....

Angry Little Girls

I read this very bizarre web comic called "Angry Little Girls". I don't know why, but I find it funny. Possibly because I am both Kim and Xyla (the two Asians, go figure). It's pretty cliché, but worth a giggle every so often:

Today I:

Took Alana to speech therapy

Went to the post office and successfully didn't throttle the idiot postal worker who told me I wasn't specific enough on my customs form.

Went to Joann's to return stuff and the bank

Went home, exchanged kids and took Liam to speech therapy....and waited around for 40 minutes because his SLP forgot the time change. Blargh. This day kinda sucked.

09/15

I watched the Secret Life of the Manic Depressive today. It's a two-part series that was on BBC in 2006. It's hosted by Stephen Fry (who is bi-polar himself) who interviews various people who are bi-polar or have had their lives affected by bi-polar disorder. It's nothing earth-shatter, nor did it tell me anything I didn't know about bi-polar disorder, but an interesting watch none the less. I think that it's convinced me I DON'T have bipolarism, just a few periods of disphoric mania. Yay???



Today I:

Cleaned out and organized my pantry
Went to three grocery stores and Joann fabric
Napped (I want to sleep a lot lately, ugh)