Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The fifth Doctor was Peter Davison

A week ago I noticed that the site of the granuloma had started to pucker and darken. According to Dr. Internet, this is a sign of cyst coming to the surface and possible rupture. I called the ARNP on Monday in a panic who got me into an appointment the next day. She was very nice, but informed me that this point, 1) it will likely rupture and there was pretty much nothing that she could do, 2) she didn't want to do artificially drain it because sometimes this can make it worse, 3) it will scar and there's nothing to do about that either and 4) it will be painful. When I asked her when I could expect it rupture, she gave me a timeline of about 3-4 days but could possibly take longer since it has been suppressed by the drugs. She also confirmed that there was a second granuloma. 

As I was walking out of the hospital, I got a call from the RN at the rheumatologist to inform me that I was not allowed to start on the methotrexate as my liver panel had come back elevated. This is quite the surprise since none of the drugs that I'm currently on should cause any stress on my liver. I asked the RN what that meant, at which point she said that she'd talk to the doctor to see if I was supposed to be referred to a "liver specialist." That makes the fifth doctor for those keeping count. She didn't call me back, of course. Damn nurse.

Fast forward almost a week. I accidentally thought Sunday morning was Monday and got very annoyed at the pediatrician's office not being open and accidentally made the on-call polyclinic doctor call me in a panic. I finally got a hold of the rheumatologist's office, got a referral for a gastro-enterologist (apparently that's what they meant by a "liver specialist"), and cancelled the appointment for this Wednesday since I wasn't going to be able to go onto the methotrexate. So I'm now in pain, still on drugs that I hate, and feeling very, very, very sorry for myself.

It's been a week since I was told the first granuloma would rupture and it still hasn't done anything, but I feel little pricks of pain all the time on top of the general constant ache. The prednisone has finally caught up with all the side effects, that initially came and went, and now seem to all have come at the same time. It leaves me tired, grumpy, hungry, sleep deprived, and paranoid, causing me to send weirdly passive-aggressive emails to people who don't deserve them. If you've gotten one, I sincerely apologize. I currently have what is known in professional circles as "the crazies."

I will say this about the health system up here in Seattle: it is very efficient. Barring receptionists that never seem to answer the phone and one nurse that forgot to call me back, most of the hold up of getting seen by a doctor has actually been my ability to arrange for childcare. Most specialists would have been able to schedule me for same day consults, and I've never had to schedule an appointment more than a week out. I joked to my sister-in-law that wasn't Obamacare supposed to be leaving us standing in line for healthcare? Also, since I initially went to a doctor that works within the Swedish Medical system, I never have to transfer my records from doctor to doctor as they stay in my electronic file, which is accessible by a central computer record. They can also see notes from other doctors, which prescriptions I've been given and referrals are given accordingly. Any lab work I'm supposed to do is simply ordered into the computer and I can go to any draw station without any work on my part (other than getting stabbed). After working at supposedly the "best" healthcare system in Utah, I can say I'm seriously impressed. This medical system is great and tons more efficient. 

On the plus side, I managed to get to ballet yesterday and the gym today. On the not so plus side, the prednisone has made me so hungry all the time that I've gained three pounds.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Ummm, so I have nothing to say

So I know this is my blog, but maybe I've been a little self-absorbed lately.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Clothes

Seriously, where do people buy clothes nowadays? I bought some shirts from Express last month because they were on major clearance and only $7 but after I wore one once, I discovered there was a hole in one. Fortunately it's right on the seam and I can fix it easily, but seriously? I realized that with cheap prices, we have to accept mass production and the lack of quality that comes with it, but I really don't like my clothes falling apart after one wear. Also, I feel bad shopping at certain stores where I'm sure that they use sweatshops and poorly regulated production means as a way to make sure that I can buy that shirt at $7. Really, really guilty. I'd like to make my own clothes, but most of the fabric I can buy is come from factories with similar practices, so it's not really like I'm solving the problem. What's a guilty Liberal to do? Anyone have any clothing stores that they love?

Monday, January 14, 2013

I did it!

I actually went to my ballet class tonight. AND I didn't collapse at the end of it. Sure it was an easier class than my usual one with the crazy/super good teacher who is a complete tyrant, but at least I got some exercise. Maybe I'll even make it to the gym tomorrow. I've been trying to keep it together for the past couple of months. Mostly failing miserably. So I've been playing some video games and reading some more and catching up on bad tv. Teaching Liam to read. I've been really turned off of food lately. I think I lost some weight last week not by exercising but the sheer nausea of migraines and everything sounding completely disgusting. However one day I was making pbjs for the kids when the smell of the peanut butter was very tempting. So I made and ate a pbj for the first time in probably years and damn it, it was the best thing I'd ever eaten. Yay for the simple things in life. I got to the LAST DAY of being on my prednisone when the pain of Murgatroyd (love the name, Stephanie!) growing finally got to be to much and I had to call the APRN I'd been seeing. Lo and behold, she re-upped the steroids and now I have an appointment on Wednesday with the rheumatologist. I'm not sure what she's going to prescribe, but it made be anything dietary restrictions, methotraxate, or a recommendation for a bi-lateral mastectomy. I've been doing some research into the last option because I can't live with the pain but I can't be on immunosuppressants forever because they make me CrAzY. But do yourself a favour and NEVER EVER GOOGLE images for mastectomies. Yikes. But the rate of re-occurrence is nearly zero. Still can happen. But the rate for prednisone is 75%, doing nothing is 50% and partial mastectomies is 25%. Yikes. The problem with dietary restrictions is the likely one is gluten. Which is fine, I can live without bread and baked good for the most part. The problem is the other stuff that gluten gets sneaked into. Like does anyone know a good soy sauce that doesn't contain gluten? Chicken broth is another. And goodbye to ever eating out because I can't be sure what ingredients the restaurants use. I've had a terrible taste in my mouth for the past month. I finally looked up it and it's most likely being caused by the metformin. Apparently metformin can cause the body to go into a state known as ketosis, which is when the blood runs out of sugar (glucose) and so the body starts burning fat for fuel. Mostly a good thing. There are times that this is bad (anorexics and heavy athletes for example) but I'm hoping that it's a sign the metformin is working and I'll start being able to drop some pounds. Sorry for the randomness of the this post, but I thought that I'd do an update.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

The previous post

The previous post is password protected because it's something that's very personal to me. I know not everyone is mature enough to read it and there are some people who read this blog that I'd rather didn't (screw you Josie if you're reading this; why don't don't go mess up someone else's life). So if you'd like the password, email me at baeksonghwa at gmail dot com. Comments are not password protected as far as I know.

This post is password protected

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Why this won't become a weight loss blog

Alternate title: My body is trying to kill me

I woke up with a MASSIVE migraine this morning. Seriously, body? Isn't it bad enough that other sensitive parts are hurting, now you have add in a headache? It'd been coming on for days, but I was still floored by how awful I felt (almost literally, I had a hard time standing up). My head would have felt better if actually had exploded. Add in lots of nausea and you get the idea. Justin kindly gave me some migraine medication before swiftly escaping for work, probably because he really didn't want to clean up the mess if the nausea corporealized. Of course this was the day I was determined to get back to the gym. After the drugs kicked in and Liam waking up necessitated me getting out of bed, I dragged myself into clothes and headed to the gym. Because my body isn't the boss of me, damn it. I survived the gym and then spent the rest of the day lounging in bed and watching Dirk Gently episodes. Because British tv rules. I also undid all the good of going to the gym in two mini Snickers bars. Crap.

So I was tempted to do the whole weight tracking stuff on this blog, but then I realized that 1) no one cares (seriously, even I don't care about the numbers) and 2) I hate weight loss blogs. Mostly because they're all the same. But I did find a couple blogs that I enjoy. The first is Can You Stay For Dinner? This is more of a food blog than a weight loss one, but she has chronicled about losing 135 (!) lbs. The difference is that she started this blog after she'd lose the weight. But her recipes are realistic and look really yummy. The second blog is called Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit. This is the most irreverent weight loss blog that I've read. He's blogged everyday for 3 1/2 years. There is hardly anything on this blog to motivate you to lose weight, but there are plenty of song parodies, conversations with Snape, and helpful healthy tips, such as:

• Turn a regular desk into a treadmill by flipping it upside-down, then figuring out some way to make a tread go round-and-round. 
• Switch to low-fat, organic, whole wheat cigarettes. 
• Can’t afford a fancy heart-rate monitor? You can make your own with a digital watch and a wire connected directly to your heart. 
• Don’t go to the grocery store when you’re hungry or have a lot of money. 
• You can make your diet more low-fat by eating less fat, dumbass.

 
• Enjoy the benefits of probiotic drinks, or, at the very least, don't drink a bunch of anti-biotic drinks.

 
• Can't sleep? Try a warm cup of Ambien tea right before bed.

 
• Some folks actually have trouble gaining weight; to those people I offer this simple-to-follow advice: why not try shutting the hell up, please?

Definitely worth a look since this blog isn't going to become a weight loss blog anytime soon.

Today I:

Went to the gym
Nothing else. Seriously.